a 6 as 
sAi 



ALL ABOUT 



THE 



H 



H 



A BOOK OF 

MANY TALES 

Advice and Warning, 
by 

RACHEL; • 

Queen of the Grypsies. 






&N, N. Y. 

hed by the 

T BUREAU. 
1S88. 




ALL ABOUT 

THE 

(20LLE&E 



A BOOK OF 



MANY TALES 

Advice and Warning, 
by 

RACHEL ; 

Queen of the G-ypsies. / 



AUBURN, N. Y. 

Published by the 

RACKET BUREAU. 
1888. 



3oV 7 



-r- / 






Copyright applied, for. 



ANTIOCH. 

Yellow Springs, O. (Non Sect.) 

When he comes home from Yellow Springs, 

Good boy of Buckeye stock, 
Get him to sing those good old hymns, 

Among them Antioch. 



AMHERST. 

Amherst, Mass. (Congregational.) 

Don't propose on the Sabbath day, 
To swim with the boy from Amherst, 

Before consent he'll say he'd see 
You drowning in the dam first. 



BOWDOIN. 

Brunswick, Me. (Non Sect.) 

From down east comes the boy from Maine, 

Inveterate codfish eater, 
His ways towards man and womankind, 

Are — nothing — nothing sweeter. 



BROWN. 

Providence, R. I. (Non Sect.) 

His wants are small, and he cares not at all, 
Should kind Providence help him go through, 

Persevering in study he'll do it up Brown, 
So give the poor devil his due. 



BATES. 

Lewiston, Me. (Free Baptist.) 

Pull down that sign, "No Trespassing," 
And set your great big dog on, 

Then see Free will rod, line and Bate(s), 
Go splashing in your trout pond. 



Brooklyn Polytechnic. 

Brooklyn, N. Y. (Non Sect.) 

Bring out your albums and make room, 

For pretty Polytechnic, 
He's free to give his photograph, 

And sometimes he gets love sick. 



BUFFALO MEDICAL. 

Buffalo, N. Y. 

Young sawbones he of Buffalo, 

With words do not offend, 
For should he think there's too much lip," 

He'll want to cut and mend. 



COLUMBIA. 

New York City. (Non Sect.) 

Columbia's boy will show you up, 

But you must say you can't 
See only by the light of day, 

The New York El-e-phant. 



CORNELL. 

Ithaca, N. Y. (Non Sect.) 

When Cornell boys come in to call, 
From over the Cascadilla, 

Bring out your bottle from the board, 
And treat to the sarsaparilla. 



DARTMOUTH. 

Hanover, N. H. (Congregational.) 

Sarcastic boy in the extreme, 

A something sharp from Dartmouth, 

At random he lets fly his darts, 

The old folks call him smartmouth. 



FlSK AND VANDERBILT. 

Nashville, Tenn. 

To see them in a walk around, 

Twins — Fisk and Vanderbilt — 
That strut with envy it would cause 

A Broadway dude to wilt. 



GEORGETOWN. 

Georgetown, D. C (Roman Catholic.) 

A sleek faced boy with high silk hat 

And a reverential bow, 
A friend to the poor and aristocrat, 

To greet you he knows how. 



HARVARD. 

Cambridge, Mass. (Non Sect.) 

Conversing with a Harvard boy, 

Not greenest of the greens, 
A pile of dignity you'll find, 

His brain food pork and beans. 



HAMILTON. 

Clinton, N. Y. (Presbyterian.) 

Be careful what you have to say 

To the boy from Hamilton, 
He's use to just so much reserve 

Or take his hat and run. 



HOBART. 

Geneva, N. Y. (Protestant Episcopal.) 

The Hobart Boys are pretty scarce, 

And few and far between, 
But what you find are good enough, 

And fit for any Queen. 



HIRAM. 

Hiram, O. (Disciples.) 

Like disciples of old, not one can you drive, 
Far better go coax or try hire him, 

And when you have won you will print it is fun. 
To keep on the right side of Hiram. 



JOHNS HOPKINS. 

Baltimore, Md. (Non Sect.) 

With Cain- like heart he at a rush 

Goes right in with a will ; 
Johns Hopkins going to have that cane, 

E'n though he has to kill. 



9 

1 LEHIGH. 

South Bethlehem, Pa. (Protestant Episcopal.) 

The Lehigh boy a shining light 

In the college diadem, 
A cross between the setting sun 

And star of Bethlehem. 



MANHATTAN. 

New York City. (Roman Catholic.) 

A confidential friend you have 
In the boy down at Manhattan, 

Instead of "letting out the cat," 
He puts another cat in. 



NORTHWESTERN 

Evanston, III. (Methodist Episcopal.) 

Northwestern boys of Illinois, 

Some short of Stock in pen, 
Exhorters loud and free of speech, 

Their final word — Amen. 



OBERLIN. 

Oberlin, O. (Congregational.) 

In a knock down argument always agree 

With the boy from Oberlin, 
For if at once you can't see through, 

He'll up and pound it in. 



PRINCETON. 

Princeton, N. J. (Presbyterian.) 

The Princeton boy when he entertains. 

Cares not for the "speech of people," 
Takes off your hat with a hickory club, 

And puts your horse in a steeple. 



RUTGERS. 

New Brunswick, N. J. (Reformed Dutch.) 

With figures large and figures small, 

With Rutgers don't try much ; 
Divide, subtract, and multiply 

You cannot "beat the Dutch." 



Syracuse University. 

Syracuse, N. Y. (Methodist Episcopal.) 

$jj Heeds not the sound of the nine o'clock bell 
The boy from Syracuse, 
At eventide he's likely out 
A raising of the deuce. 



SWARTHMORE 

Swarthmore, Pa. (Friends.) 

A friendless boy into Swarthmore comes, 

His way to the college wends, 
No homesick lines has he to write, 

He's found a host of Friends. 



TRINITY. 

Hartford, Conn. (Protestant Episcopal.) 

From Hartford town of world renown, 

Nursed by old Trinity 
Start boys to live lives all O. K. 

And some to die D. D. 



TUFTS. 

College Hill, Mass. (Universalist.) 

To hear the toughest of the Tufts 

Give out his college yell, 
A firm believer you will be 

That on earth there is a hell. 



TULANE. 

New Orleans, La. (Non Sect.) 

The story comes that the boy from Tulane, 
Indulges too much in his glasses, 

Believe him when to you he declares 
His weakness — New Orleans 'lasses. 



U. S. Military Institute 

West Point, N. Y. 

The gay and festive West Point boy. 

A Regular army masher, 
He frog-like goes in at a hop, 

And in the field a thrasher. 



13 

U. S. Naval Academy. 

Annapolis, Md. 

This jolly boy in navy blue, 

For two lips takes a tack, 
From high command of Admiral 

Longs to command a smack. 



UNION. 

Schenectady, N. Y. (Non Sect.) 

Go hunt and fish with the Union boy, 

Along the Mohawk flats, 
On farmer's geese perchance he kills 

And mud pike stews "he fats." 



University of North 
Carolina- 
chapel Hill, N. C. (Non Sect.) 

Make friends with the stickfast tar-heeled boy, 

From the pines of Chapel Hill, 
For the best man at your grand union 

He'll surely fill the bill. 



14 

University of Vermont 

Burlington, Vt. (Non Sect.) 

Green mountain boys in their demands, 

Most always make a mess ; 
In the name of the great Horn Spoons they say, 

And great American Congress. 



Univ. of Pennsylvania. 

Philadelphia, Pa. (Non Sect.) 

This brotherly boy of Quaker City, 

So backward in learning to swear, 
Whenever he has to "tackle Greek" 

He "handles it with care." 



Univ. of South Carolina 

Columbia, S. C. (Non Sect.) 

Cross not the path of the youthful knight, 

The boy from South Carolina, 
For the majah he would make it warm, 

Should he kick up behind sah. 



Univ. of Virginia, 

Charlottsville, Va. (Non Sect.) 

Respect the boy from old Virginia, 

The land of awful struggles. 
With other chicks from North and South, 

He under the old hen snuggles. 



Univ. of Rochester. 

Rochester, N. Y. (Baptist.) 

When riding with a Rochester boy, 

Oh don't go near the water, 
He's like to strip and go right in 

Just when he hadn't oughter. 



Univ. of Wooster. 

Wooster, O. (Presbyterian,) 

No spread eagle in the speech 

Of the graduate from Wooster, 
Instead of soaring up aloft, 

He strikes home like a rooster. 



i6 

Univ. of Texas. 

Austin, Tex. (Non Sect.) 

Here comes a boy from the Lone Star State, 

Brought up among the cattle, 
When he from out his band box gets, 

He's going to make things rattle. 



Univ. of Alabama. 

Tuscaloosa, Ala. (Non Sect.) 

A melancholy boy is he, 

The boy from Tuscaloosa. 
Puts spirits down, to keep his up, 

When he has "got the blues" sah. 



Univ. of Michigan 

Ann Arbor, Mich. (Non Sect.) 

For referee to settle your hash, 
Let a boy from Ann Arbor cater, 

His head it is long, and argument strong, 
He's built for an arbitrator. 



17 

Univ. Mississippi. 

Oxford, Miss. (Non Sect.) 

Up the river from Mississippi, 

The land of fever and ague, 
Comes the Oxford boy with a grip and a grin, 

To shake with bovs in blue. 



WILLIAMS. 

Williamstown, Mass (Non Sect.) 

Around the room the wall flowers sit, 

Sweet Williams all admiring, 
The "gift of gab" that flows in streams, 

With patience never tireing. 



CALIFORNIA. 



Familiar with all signs and words 

That men of letters use, 
The boys from over the Golden Gate, 

Still curse. the Chinese' queues. 



i8 

KENTUCKY. 

You meet a blue grass boy away 
From his old Kentucky home, 

A regular thoroughbred you'll find, 
Sir Knight of the curry comb. 



YALE. 



New Haven, Conn. (Congregational.) 

Perhaps you think you've got him tight, 

The slippery boy from Yale, 
In holding fast, you lose your pork, 

A pig with a well greased iail. 



FACULTY. 



Vacation comes and then you see 
Of high and low degree 

The man of men, above them all, 
Respected fac-ul-ty. 



19 

A FEW REMARKS. 



After camp and the tribes are all in will appear 

ALL ABOUT 

—THE — 

College * Girls 

THEIR WORKS AND WA YS, 

— BY— 

RACHEL; 

Queen of the Gypsies. 

Like unto the following : 

WELLS. 

Aurora, N. Y. 

Like water pure from deep rock Wells, 

Take girls of common sense, 
No fears have they of veto power, 

Good wives for Presidents. 



Please Turn Over to Business. 



20 

AUBURN, N. Y. 

RACKET BUREAU 

S. J. MA THEWS, Ac?t. 

8 Exchange Street, Opposite Post Office, 

Boomers of all productions of merit, mailable, express- 
able and freightable. 

NOW BOOM YOUR RACKETS ! 

ONE MILLION BLASTS FOR TEN DOLLARS ! 

BEAD THIS: 



THE ART OF ADVERTISING.-^ SLVI I 

*■ lines (32 words) in One Million copies of Daily, Sunday 
or Weekly Newspapers. The work will be all done in 
10 days. Send order and check to 

GEO. P. ROWELL & CO., 10 Spruce St, N. Y. 
176 Page Newspaper Catalogue sent by mail for 30c. 

Scratch Your Head and Feel Glad ! 

Unparalleled in the History of Advertising ! 

HOW TO START YOUR BOOM. 

Send to Racket Bureau description (with sample if you 
like) and two dollars for a single batch — or three dollars 
for a double batch of original ads., written with or within 
the required number of words or lines for a ten dollar ad. 
which will be mailed to you within a week or sooner 
from the time of receipt of order. Then select the one 
you want and enclose with remittance at once to Rowell 
& Co., and your boom is started. 

The remainder of your ads can be used to advantage 
in your local newspapers. 



Fellow Citizens: 

Just think of it — Ponder over this great 
proposition— Consider the vastness of the 
field — the extensiveness of its ramifications, 
and unparalled cheapness, and then with a 
stalwart I will — go in and show this world 
of competition that you mean Business. 

Now hear again. Ten dollars for one 
million impressions, two million spectacles, 
five million of readers (at least,) and a 
grand uncovering of millions of teeth in 
grinning approval of your just one little 
endeavor. 



THE WAY WE DO IT. 

How to Start a Boom with Little Money. 

Mail ten cents for explanatory documents to S. J. 
Mathews, Agent Auburn, N. Y. Racket Bureau. — 
Local, State and National Rackets boomed to order. 
— [31 works.] 



Sadly the Troubadour blew his catarrh, ^ tf 

Wheezing from Palestine hither I come, 

Ely's Cream Balm for me, famed from afar, 
Lady love, lady love, pray give me some 



3 



22 



THIS IS THE W>Y WE DO IT. 



ALL ABOUT THE COLLEGE BOYS, with ad- 
vice and warning, by Rachel ; Queen of the Gypsies, 
io cents, by mail. Racket Bureau, S. J. Mathews, 
agent, 8 Exchange Street, Auburn, N. Y.— [30 words.] 

DON'T PAINT THE TOWN RED, but gild it 
with gold, beautiful gold. Pure liquid gold by the bot- 
tle sold at Trowbridge & Jennings' Central New York 
Art Store, Auburn, N. Y. Sole agents. — [31 words.] 



fe 


Who can can 


a can of 


corn, 






m{5 

hO 


For Ceres herself to blow her horn, 


%P. 


< 


That man or woman yet 
That's better ate than 


unborn. 
PARIS 


CORN, 


5« 

PO CD 
P 9 " 



Unfurl your Pancakes on the wall, 

Let Boom the racket louder, 
All best bread women welcome give, 

Right ROYAL BAKING POWDER. 



Combination Knife. — Combination here complete, 



Measures inches, measures feet, 
Pares an apple, digs your ear, 
Picks your teeth — invention queer, 



Ten Gents 
By Mail 

NEW HAVEN 
Card Co. 



23 

NEW YORK. 

Ten cakes of soap of leading brands, 

Exposed to April showers, 
Above them all looms up in view, 

Old BABBITS' drenched for hours. 

64, 68, 70, 72, 74, 86, 78, 80 and 82 Washington Street, 
and 41. 42, 43, 44, 48, 49 and 51 West Street. 

H^f" Please take one door at a time. 



OSWEGO 



Hay foot, straw foot, forward march ! 

With stiff upper lips from puddings of starch, 
Oswego troops are on the march, 

They'll die to a man for OSWEGO STARCH. 



Every business man should sail in 

Ths ©rsat fistarial &nchet Boat ! 

NOW ON THE STOCKS 

FOR THE HOLIDAYS. 

Early consignments of ads will have first choice of 
Berths. For freight or passage apply on board to 
CAPT. O. I. BEATEM, 

or to Auburn Racket Bureau. 



24 

CHEW 

GUM ALASKA 

FRESH FROM THE WOODS. 
TEN CENTS A GOBI 

IN A TIN BOX BY MAIL! 



THE SITKA INDIAN 

GUM CORPS 

Are now out on their Annual Pick. Reports from 
the several camps say the find to be enormous. 
We propose to throw upon the market for the Fall and 
Winter trade an article of Chewing Gum surpassing in 
purity and medicinal qualities anything ever rolled on 
mortal tongue. 

2 HIS G03)SEJVD 
KILLS THE BLUES, CUTS PLEGHM 

— AND- 

SWEETENS THE BREATH. 

Ten cents a gob, in a tin box by mail — Store gobs 
five cents. For sale by all druggists, grocers, book 
sellers, milliners, barbers, in fact everywhere. 

Remarkable inducements to jobbers. For particulars 
address 

S. J. MATHEWS, AGENT, 

RACKET BUREAU, 

AUBURN, N. Y. 



25 

AUBURN INDUSTRY. 



Next to Death with busy hand, 

In rank see OSBORNE'S take its stand 

The greatest REAPER in the land, 

As Ceres sweeps by with her Harvest band. 



Jim Garfield once in his next to best 

A walking suit so neatly dressed, 
His aim in Blaine's, up Capitol Hill 

Went a card fur the auburn woolen MILL. 



Wag on with your mule, wag on with your ox, 
Wag on with your horse and keep wagging, 

But the greatest of wags is when hitched for a wag, 
To an E. D. CLAPP & CO.'s WAGON. 



In the loveliest city of the PLANE. 

The AUBURN TOOL WORKS still remain, 
With orders o'er and o'er again 

From Terra del Fuego to Maine. 



Use no CARPETS from afar 

When better comes from NYE, 
With whom skilled workmen weave their lives 

And some with him to dye. 



26 

AUBURN INDUSTRY. 



To CIVIL SERVICE CARPET TACKS, 

All hands your hats now doff, 
The AUBURN TACK now fills the bill, 

No cry of "heads come off." 



She's got her duds all in the suds 

Awaiting you to bring her 
That promised her last Sunday night, 

A brand-new AUBURN WRINGER. 



Go take your grist to the cross roads mill, 
Let a BIRDSALL ENGINE grind it, 

Go North, go South, go East, go West,. 
Most anywhere you'll find it. 



For fifty years A WADSWORTH SCYTHE 

Has been a friend to me. 
And now with no ungrateful heart 

I've hung him to a tree. 



The bells were all ringing, the birds sweetly singing, 

On a bright Sabbath July morning 
When the Sunday school shoe first made its debut, 

A "new brand for the trade made by CORNING. 



27 

AUBURN INDUSTRY. 



The AUBURN CO. turns out a HOE 

Josiah says "a hummer," 
He with it hoes first rows of peas 

And the "last rose of summer." 



Haul out your pocket Stars and Stripes, 

When waves the red bandanna, 
And play your tunes, both sides of the fence, 

On a WEGMAN AND HENNING PIANO. 



Tariff off or Tariff on, 

Whichever way it be, 
The auburn silk mill's new designs 

Is why its not at sea. 



The barber MILLS now take a nap, 
They'll soon begin to stretch, 

And when they wake with new insides 
Their old-time trade will catch. 



To give you a rest when you want to retire, 

From the worry of business with longing desire, 

See real estate lawton, buy, trade or else hire, 
In the beautiful city all strangers admire. 



28 

ODDS AND ENDS. 



Grate boarding house kept by the state, 
Views from the windows all say grate, 

Guests registered with hearts so sad, 

When they get out, "you bet" they're glad. 



Before Cayuga County Bar 

Who took a drink to sooth a cough 

And cracked a joke on the water works 
That great apostle John B. Gough. 



This is the Presidential year 

When Melican man calls namee, 

Though heapee gas be freely used 
The price be all the samee. 



Toot the bugle, squeak the fife, 
Let growl the old bass. drum ; 

Big city park, just "bet your life," 
This year has got to come. 



A Little Liar, — Blue bird in an apple orchard 
Sweet peach — peach a peach a peach a peaches." 



2<) 



-Rome ^VLanufactui\e. 



You know what you get, 

So when you want CLOTHING, 
Don't get in a sweat, 

Take time by the ear 
• And together you go 

To the double-front store of 
BARKER, GRISWOLD & CO., 

Not here for a year, then fizzle and git 
But for half of a hundred, with chalk, cut and fit. 

Their cloth before cutting 
With moth- to- kill sprayed, 

The little young rippers thereafter afraid, 
No ripping and tearing and almost a swearing, 

When you are out airing your homade a wearing. 

87 & 89 GENESEE-ST., - AUBURN, N. Y. 

1812. 1888. 

"Should auld acquaintance be forgot, 

And never brought to mind," 
With better goods, and just as cheap, 

And anywhere you'll find. 

Gh W. RICHARDSON &, SOJST, 

Mammoth Furniture Warehouse, 
Old South St. Triangle, AUBURN, N. Y. 



3o 

AUBURN DRUGGISTS, 



HUNT the Druggist you want to find, 
And after you once have found him, 

Buy of his make BEEF, IRON AND WINE, 
You'll seldom pass by or go round him. 



Don't you know the market's full 

Of nasty Tonkarilla, 
Now if you're not prepared to die 

USE WALLEY'S PURE VANILLA. 



Why dance around the house like mad, 
Cat howl boohoo and shriek, 

When you can rout NEURALGIA 
With ELLIOTT'S NERVOTIQUE. 



Poke weed tea, with clover leaves 
And sap of the weeping willow, 

Is not the stuff you get for BLOOD 
In SAGAR'S SARSAPARILLA. 



No blame for Eve at Adam's fall, 

Nor credit for his rise, 
But praise for ADAMS' TAR PELLETS, 

Now boom them to the skies 



3i 



PLUCK. 



When death came round the other day 

And called on little Phil, 
Such pluck quoth he "the record beats, 

I now postpone the kill. 



A fireman to a fireman be, 

Should pass through all the grades 
And should the summons ever come 

Go face the fires of Hades. 



When Gotham dudes sat toasting shin: 
And warming up their gizzards, 

Dakota maids the Storm King dared 
And charged upon his blizzards 



A frenzied man with liquor plied, 
Or chasing up a Burglar, 

Is when Policemen risk their lives 
As much as any soldier. 



When father's gone and miles away, 
And we are alone in our hut, 

Then mother's double- barrel gun 
Sends Indians lickety cut. 



32 

AUBURN, N. Y 

RACKET 

B-U-R-E-A- 



S.J. MATHEWS, Agent, 
8 JExchange St., Opposite 'Post office. 



Boomers of all Productions of 

Merit— Mailable, Expressable, 

and Freightable. 



Now if you want a Racket Boom, 
Send up your case right here, 

The Auburn Bureau keeps for hire, 
A jolly PAMPHLETEER. 

DESIGNS FOR TRADE MARKS - CHEAP 



this GKEAT work 

TEN CENTS BY MAIL. 



The new high pressure 
. Pictorial 

RACKET BOAT 

B O o im: IE IR, 

Capt. 0. I. BE AT EM. 

This Boat is now on the stocks and will 
be launched on the sea of COMPETITION 
in time for the 

HOLIDAYS 

Every business man will find it to their 
interest to be all together in the same boat. 
Now pack your ads. Register early and 
secure best berths. For freight or passage 
apply to the Captain on board, or to 

S. J. MATHEWS, Agent, 

EACKET BUREAU, 
jlu'BU'Rjv, jv. r. 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



AUBU ■■■■■■■■■■III 




S. J. MATHEWS, Agent, 
8 Exchange St,, Opposite *Postoffice. 



Boomers of all Productions of 

Merit— Mailable, Expressable, 

and Freightable. 



Now if you want a Racket Boom, 
Send up your case right here, 

The Auburn Bureau keeps for hire, 
A jolly PAMPHLETEER. 



DESIGNS FOR TRADE MARKS - CHEAP 



this GREAT work 

TEN CENTS BY MAIL. 



